Last October 4, i had my routine blood test and on october 7, i met with my oncologist for my semi annual checkup. He was happy to tell me that i am in remission. I told him about pains on my left hand that seems to radiate to my neck and my back. He said i need to see a physical therapist and that the pain is due to the operation and not any metastasis. I went to the hospital to get appointment with a therapist but they are giving me schedule for next year and i couldn't wait that long anymore as my left hand seems to get worse with every movement i do.

Yesterday i met with my private lady physical therapist for a third time. I had made great improvement already from where i started, but as she said it will take time to get back strength of my left hand

Eight months after my last chemotherapy and five months after my radiation therapy, all my nails have recovered fully and i have three inches of hair already! During the treatments, all seemed so far fetched, as if it can never happen. But it is now happening. I cut my last trace of the dead nails on my big toes yesterday.

I am seeing my doctor this October for my semi annual blood tests and check up. Praying the results would be as perfect as my hair and nails!.

I am planning to ask my doctor to refer me to a physical therapist as my left hand has not fully recovered yet. There are times pain still radiates from my shoulder joint and bothers me. I try some stretching but i guess i am not able to do it properly. My disposition is still bothered by this aches at times but, of course, i have gone a long long way already on this battle to not continue...

I am recovering...

Yesterday was Mothers' Day. I was able to just call and text my mother who is in the Philippines. I wanted to hug her to thank her for the many things she had done for me. Also even for those that she did not do. She is my pillar of strength. Knowing all the challenges she had to face raising us up, her five children. We are all imperfect people but by the grace of God, we are able to overcome all our challenges.

I also have five children to raise up and it is not an easy task but we have all the love we need to face up to our challenges. Being a Mom, I always want the best for my children. No one can be a supermom to be able to give all that she wants for her children, no matter how hard you try to be.

After my diagnosis, i became half the mom i wanted to be. I didn't have the strength and proper disposition anymore. I am lucky my whole family supported me all the way. Today, i have started to feel I am regaining my strength. It is slow but i still need to be around for my husband and my children especially my 6 year old boy!

I am clear as of the moment but i will need to be always alert of all things i do, especially the food i eat. My children have adjusted well to the healthier diet and i am so grateful for that. My husband is also trying to adopt to it but he is the last one breaking rules every now and then.

With all that i have been thru, i can't really help it but be very insistent on healthy ways. Life is too short to not consciously take care of everyone's health.

My children and my husband made mothers' day worth the sacrifices, the pains and all the body aches i had to go thru just to still be here with them. Life is good!

My 5th child had turned 6 years old and i am so proud of him. We had a birthday cake and simple celebration in his classroom at TIS. He was very happy to share his yummy cake to all his classmates and teachers. They all loved the cake and had to limit the kids to two servings or they will have tummy ache, as their teacher said.

My son wanted to be the one to give paper plates and fork to his classmates. It showed to me his 'sharing' heart and how much he loves all his classmates. In fact he told us that he wants to marry one of the pretty girls!

It is officially 100% growing back already! My back hair seems to grow faster, at this point in time, it is 3 centimeters long while the front is only 2 centimeters. Some white hairs showing but generally black and thick as before. I will have pixie look by July, just in time for my planned travels!!!

After three months since my last chemo therapy, my fingernails are halfway normal already! So in another three months they will be completely back to normal! It takes six months to completely have new fingernails. Except for my left middle finger which still has a gray line (previously black).

As for my toenails, my big toes has just started to have normal growth and it is taking more time for them to grow. Usually the toenails are really halfway slower. I cut my toenails every other time that i cut my fingernails. Soooo it will be taking double the fingernails. I think my bigtoe nails will be normal in 8 months time. In the meantime i should just try to cover them as much as i can or just put nail polish. I wonder if the dying nail will be damaged if i put nail polish on them. Maybe i will try to research first...

It has been a while since my last post. I had been getting better everyday though i had to go thru so many ups and downs. After the 25th radiation therapy finished, i started to hope that all my pains will just vanish immediately. I was so wrong as the side effects would just start to manifest. My skin turned from a little red to very dark red then black. It is like sunburn many times over. Some of the black skin started to pell off but the underskin is too sensitive. I could not put on lotion as my doctor told me to just let it naturally, she gave me medicine in case i couldn't bear the soreness.

My patience had been stretched to the limits again. Sometimes it was hard to catch sleep feeling the little pains and soreness but i had been able to get by. Just as always focusing on better days ahead as it couldn't get any worse than what i have been able to go thru this journey.

There were moments the painkillers helped a lot but i limit by just taking paracetamol. I shouldn't be too dependent on them.

Last week, i had an excision biopsy to check on a lump below my ribs. When the surgeon opened it he immediately told me good news, that it is just a cebaceous cysts. After the biopsy the surgeon was just so glad and relieved it wasn't anything bad at all.

Yesterday my doctor friend visited me. They have their group tour in hongkong and she took the ferry to macau while her group went to disneyland. With my two daughters and my husband, we were able to have good meals and do some shopping. Again it was such a nice feeling being with friends, sharing life changing stories. She has been my highschool classmate and so many things has happened from since then.

I had the stitches removed last monday but the nurse told me the sliced skin has not closed yet so they still needed to put some sort of a tape with thread over the cut to join the skin together. So it means i could not start just yet my exercises. Another two weeks... maybe...

After having fever last night and feeling so much body aches, today i am feeling better. I decided to just take paracetamol instead of going to the hospital. Was waking up every four hours with slight fever and took paracetamol and it worked.

With all my not so good feelings lately i do learn to appreciate every good moments i have. Looking forward to more better days to come...

Had my last (25th) radiation therapy today. Was supposed to be a good milestone but had to ask my radiation oncologist about my left arm which pain had been bothering me and she told me it can be caused by bone metastasis. Had it xrayed and told me she will be getting results by friday and will be calling me by then.

Lately i had been feeling weaker and the pain sometimes shoots up that i need to drink painkillers. I had been telling myself it was just side effects but it doesn't really go away.

Last monday during my meeting with my oncologist i told him about the pain and he gave me instructions to have blood tests this friday then meet with him again on monday.

I am now trying to get info about bone metastasis and checked on the symptoms and i think i am getting all the signs.

With the on and off pains i am feeling now, i think i am being prepared to look and reconsider everything again.

My husband and I got foot and body massage. It was a much needed massage to relieve my muscles from side effects of chemo and radiation. My onco approved massage than taking meds. I hope it releases the strain in my muscles, and improve my blood circulation. My toenails seems to be nearing detachment but i still hope they can still revive. The body massage works only on the back and hands. It works well for me since i still have sore left side so full body massage with oil is not yet possible for me. I will surely have one once my radiation soreness is over and done with. Couldn't wait for that relaxing feeling!

My third daughter will be arriving tonight! It's her short school break and she will have summer classes starting april 15. Tomorrow my second daughter will be coming also. She will have break from her nmat review classes. Then my eldest on april 20.

I am looking forward to being with my daughters. I do miss them a lot especially during my treatments and downtimes. It helps me a lot just having some girls talk. Also girls bonding moments called shopping! I do love all my children very much and would want to still be here for them. Here is my prayer.,,

I woke at 1:30 am because of heart burn. At first i got nervous thinking it might be heart attack. I tried to get up to drink water. I felt a little better so i got up and got another glass of water. Tried to relax myself but when i tried to lay down on the bed it acted up again. So i got up to make hot green tea, after drinking i just sat up on the bed searched in the internet until after an hour, was able to catch my sleep again. I woke up again at 6:45am to start the day.

After taking my boys ( 3 including my husband ) to school and work, i drove back home to park the car then rode the bus to Kiang Wu. The radiation was a breeze.

I rode the bus again going home, passed the market to buy fruits. I got banana and papaya and mango to help me prevent heartburn again.

During the time i was awake, i was able to search in the internet about the side effects of my treatments. What i have been feeling was called fatigue, waking up feeling tired and muscles aching. I found out that these can go on until the hormone therapy. Lately i have been feeling little frustration because of these. I just really need to accept these things and fight it out. Acupunture and massage are acceptable remedies to help alleviate the pains. Well, i better go for it soonest!!

Today i had my 10th Radiation Therapy. Everything went well. I think i am getting the rhythm of the therapy. My left hand is still aching and i try to exercise it. Hope my muscles will recover completely from the pain soon!!

I am enjoying communicating with my children even just by imessage. They seem to be just nearby, the world is getting smaller! My sister in law just texted and they are in australia. My classmates in LA and SFO thru viber also communicated. I love receiving messages!

I woke up early for my 9 am appointment with a surgeon at San Teng Hospital. My derma referred me to this surgeon to make excision biopsy on two nodules, one on my right armpit, the other on the middle of my ribs. The surgeon will do it by local anesthesia. He scheduled it on April 15 at 2:30pm.

Then at 10:am i went to Kiang Wu Hospital for my 9th radiation therapy. I rode the bus going to and from the two Hospitals. It was good because the buses i needed to ride all have their terminals at the back of our condo.

Then after fetching my boys at school, we had to go to the Macau Science Center to shoot pictures for my older son's CTS class.

After dinner, we again drove to more places to shoot. It was fun but quite tiring. As advised by my nurse and my daughter, i did stretching of my left arm even with pains and i feel that it is getting better.

When i looked in the mirror, it is official that my eyelashes are now growing back! My eyebrows are 100% back, full grown!

Only my toenails need to recover...

Yesterday and today, i am relaxed, no radiation. My husband and i had foot massage in Taipa. Then we had early dinner at an italian restaurant.

During the massage, i felt my toes get their sense back. There was pain during the massage but i think my nerves were loosened and blood circulated again in my toes. Today, i feel my feet improved a lot. There is still joint pains but the ankle, sole and toes are much better!

My left hand still acts up with shooting pains every now and then. I did some stretching this morning and tried exercising my hands the whole day. I hope to wake up with lesser pains. I guess anticipating the pains makes my joints become stiff. Have to fight the pains away! Shoooooo!!! Go away !!!

Today i had my 7th radiation therapy with moral support from my husband. It was good that we were able to park in the hospital parking as it was drizzling. We were able to have snacks and hot drinks from the pacific coffee at the hospital lobby.

My left hand still aches every now and then. My toes are improving slowly.

My youngest son's cough and colds has improved with 4 days medication. He was able to go back to school today. Tomorrow they will have the student led conferences.

My left arm is feeling weak and aching every now and then. It is starting to bother me and it is starting to be frustrating. It is like going back to the weeks after surgery. Same feeling minus the soreness of the operated area.

I am thankful it's my left breast. I couldn't imagine how i could cope if it was my right side. I would be completely useless since i am right handed. I could bear not using much my left hand somehow.

Tonite i will try to sleep with pillow on my left hand. I might have slept on my left side and squeezed my left hand. I am feeling improvements on my toes, lesser degree on peripheral neuropathy but still there and still tires easily.

I would not want to be taking painkillers all the time, please aches go away from my body!

Today i had to rush back home after taking my older son to school and My husband to work, to give morning medicines to my five year old son. As usual my feet and left arm still feel weak especially since i was not able to sleep well because my youngest son had fever at 2am and had to give him medicine then watched over him until his fever went down. I was so tired from yesterday as i had to do all the driving the whole day. Had to bring my son to the clinic, also fetched my husband at the airport. I hope i am not abusing my remaining strength. I hope i am not taking my pains for granted. These are only side effects and will soon go away!

I am happy as my third daughter will be studying here in the University of Macau for a semester from august to december! We would be able to be together even for just a semester! Surely it will be a great time for her and us here in Macau! Yehey!!

Clear blue sky at 20 degrees centigrade now in Macau!

Woke up having a headache. My hands and feet are feeling so tired though i practically did not do much yesterday. It has always been this ache since post chemo. I really miss being just ok. I would like to start exercising but my body isn't that ready yet. Maybe, it is tired from resting?!

I shaved my head to let the tiny shoots catch up in length. About 50% is thick and normal already but 50% is just too tiny thin. I also put coconut milk to give my scalp and hair a boost. I am so excited to have at least 2" of hair so i can already not wear head cover. Spring is in already and it doesn't look well if i still cover my head with bonnets. The wig is just fine but i don't feel that comfortable after because of the marks from the garters and gives me sort of small headaches.

My eyebrows are 90% out and needed to pluck already! Yehey i wouldn't need to use my eyebrow pencils anymore! Maybe i could use them as eyeliners because my eyelashes are still not showing up. I will have eyelash extensions once they are officially out and not thick enough! My daughter will accompany me to where she had her eyelash extensions.

So many plans already! I couldn't wait anymore! Please "Pain, Pain go away, come again no other day, little evelyn wants to be well!!"

Today i had to wake up early to go to my 9am schedule 3rd Radiation Therapy. My second treatment yesterday was at 10 am. Again it was all done in about 20 minutes. All the staff were very friendly even those that don't speak english.

After my therapy i had to bring my son to an opthalmologist for an eye check up and we found out that he is near sighted. We had a portuguese doctor who speaks english well. Then had his lenses changed to his eye grade now.

We had a good lunch at yaohan fastfood. Then we went back home after passing by the water reservoir to take pictures for my son's CTS subject ( video and photography ).

My husband is in PI so i do all the driving. I am forced to do everything though my body is still weak. I am hoping that by stretching myself my body will be trained to be stronger again. I look forward to the day when my joints and muscles would be just the way they were post op!!!

I woke up early again so i could be ahead of the boys. After taking them to school and dropping my husband to work i parked the car at the condo then rode the bus to Kiang Wu. I was just on time and was called in at 10am and was done by 10:19, so the procedure was less than 20 minutes! It was my first radiation therapy and this will be every weekday until April 10, 2013 ( 25 sessions total )

I got back home by bus then had a sandwich at McDo then rode bus again to the Santeng Hospital for my appointment with the derma at 12 noon. I was called in and checked up and done by 12:40. I then rode the bus back home. It is so good that these buses have their terminal just at the back of our condo. It's a real blessing!

After resting for a few minutes, i had to drive again to fetch my sons from school. We had to drive around so my son can take pictures for his CTS subject, then had an hour rest then fetched my husband. Had dinner at home then took my husband to the airport.

I was able to do so many things though i still feel some pains especially on my legs and left arm. My left arm has the 'ngawit' ache while my legs felt tired especially in the afternoon.

I miss my strength pre - Modified Radical Mastectomy period. Now I get so tired easily and my legs are always so weak. I hope to regain everything soonest, in God's time...

I woke up early to be able to shower ahead of my boys. They have a precise schedule of waking up, taking a bath, eating breakfast and getting ready and going to school. I was even able to have breakfast. I brought them to school then dropped my husband to work then went back home.

I was feeling well enough so i rode the bus to the Kiang Wu hospital for my appointment. I was at the Radiation Therapy Center at 10 am. After only a little while i was called into a room. My body mould was there on the table and i was made to lay down on it. The doctor had to check again the position then did some adjustments and after several on and off moments checking and rechecking she made markings on my skin which will serve as guide for the radiation therapy procedure. It needs to be precise so as not to hit my lungs and heart. With all the adjustments done and their precision i can only hope and pray that the radiation would not harm me in any way but would be able to target and kill any cancer cells still inside my body.

Shoo away all cancer cells!! Farewell to you and never come back again! Ever!

I like the weather today, sunny and cool 20 degrees centigrade, perfect spring weather in Macau.

My left arm is better today. I did some stretching in the morning so my muscles won't be sore again. I sometimes feel sudden tiny twitching needle pricks of my left leg. I guess my nerves were somewhat disturbed by the surgery and chemo that they twitch every now and then. Is it only my imagination or it is really happening?

Today i had to pull out / pluck tiny eyebrow hairs! My eyebrows are growing back ( 85%) though they are not yet full grown. I think my eyelashes are 15% back also. My hair are already about 90% but only 30% are about an inch long and 60% are still shoots. I can see that all the pores have shoots already coming out. I think i may need to cut the shoots for them to grow faster. My estimate, according to my research that hair grows about 1/2" a month, i will have good hair length by end of April, maybe by May i will need to go to the Parlor already!

This afternoon, the Radiation Therapy Center called me up to tell me i have appointment tomorrow for radiation at 10:15am. So i will need to sleep early and wake up early so i can eat breakfast then drive my boys to school then go back home to ride the bus to the Hospital. I hope my body will not have bad reactions to the radiation therapy. I need strength of body and mind, as always!!

My third daughter texted me she ranked 44 on the JTA applicants so she has bigger chance of taking JTA here at the University of Macau. She can be with us from august to december of this year. It means a lot for us all if she takes one term here in Macau. Actually she is a resident card holder here so there wouldn't be any visa problem for her.

I am feeling lesser pains on my feet and hands today. I was able to rest this weekend and enjoyed being with my visitors. My neighbors' family ( 3 generations ) were here to enjoy macau food with us. Actually they were even the ones who introduced a good restaurant ( A Lorcha ) here to us. I enjoyed chatting and touring them around.

Today at my sons' school, everybody is encouraged to wear pink, to support anti bullying drive. It is Pink Shirt day for dress down day. Every month they have a day where you are not required to wear uniform, they can wear casual clothes though usually they have a theme which one can follow.

Yesterday i rode the bus going to the Hospital for my CT Scan. Was there by 3 pm then notified my nurse to check me in. The procedure was done at another department but my nurse was with me all the way, she with another male assistant nurse with my body mold were guiding and assuring me every step.

After the procedure they asked me to stay for a while then i can leave if i don't experience any unusual bad feeling. I was feeling ok so i left to ride the bus. The bus ride home was just fine.

I think i am starting to have running nose and colds. I need to do water therapy which helps me a lot in this situation. My nurse also advised me to drink more water to flush out the radioactive thing they injected before the CT Scan. So its 'hitting two birds with one stone'. A friend told me about alkaline water, but i don't have a source here in Macau.

This morning i woke up with my arms still aching especially my left arm. My legs are still weak but i feel improvements on my toes. The 'peripheral neuropathy' is now lesser, 6 toes out of ten! My fingers are better, my nails starting to show white normal color 9 out of 10. My toe nails improving normal growth 6 out of ten. My pinky toe nails and big toe nails still have dark colors but looking forward to better days ahead!!!

Yesterday i went to the Kiang Wu hospital to give my papers and meet with the doctor. I have a chinese lady doctor and she explained to me and my husband about the radiation therapy treatment for me, i will be having 5 days ( mon to fri ) a week for 5 weeks. Each treatment will last about only 15 mins. They will need to do CTScan on me prior to start of radiation to make a treatment plan. I was asked to go back this morning and they made my body mould, also put some markers on my breast skin which i should not erase until after all the treatments are done. My lady doctor was there to see to it that the markers are correct. I will be having permanent position during treatments with my hands up above my head.

My husband just dropped me off the hospital. After my mould was done i can leave and just go back for my CTScan at 3 pm. On my way out to look for a ride back home i found out that the 7a bus stop is just at the exit of the hospital. That 7a bus terminal is just at the back of our condo and it will be such a blessing as i will not need to bring and drive and park ( always full carparking ) a car for my treatments, i can easily ride the bus home. Another blessing, less stress for me!

Today i woke up my hands feeling tired. Feeling pains every now and then on my left hand and my right big toe. It is like needles pinching. Also my right shoulder seems like it worked hard that it's tired. I miss those days i wake up with so much energy and no pains. Soon..soon..

Good news, i looked closely at my eyebrows and there are already tiny hairs growing back! My head is now slowly being covered with tiny hairs too!

Tomorrow i will be going to the radiologist for my radiation therapy. I hope to start it right away so i can finish by april. I do hope this treatment will be much gentler to my body, no more side effects please!!!

Yesterday and today i was able to just rest. My feet had a much needed break. I just hope my pains would start to lessen more and more. I still feel tingling pains at times.

I miss my body and muscles strength. I hope when my pains are fully gone i could start training my muscles to recover their strength. It won't be easy and i need so much patience. After all that i have been thru i guess i am more patient now than i was before my surgery. Things are not within my control anymore. It is God in control...

It was a very busy day today. I had to drive my sons to school because my husband had to leave early for Hongkong. After taking breakfast i brought my visitor friend to a garment shop for bargains. She and I were able to get very good priced nice items.

Then i had to fetch my sons from school after that had to go to the hospital to get my papers for my radiation therapy. Again the persons i have dealt with were very helpful. I think they know my case and are giving me extra kindness for it.

After the hospital my visitor together with my youngest son went to fetch my husband. We had a good dinner before we brought our friend to the airport. It had been so nice to share moments with long lost friends! So many stories and sharings to tell.

All these while my legs and feet are feeling tired and painful but was able to fight it off. I had to do what i got to do! I was still able to do everything out of sheer determination. I just hope these pains will go away soon!!

Cool day with a little sunshine in Macau. Yesterday i received a call but the one calling doesn't speak english. It should be the hospital calling to tell me about my appointment with the radiologist. In my mind an english speaking person should call me back and they did! So i will need to pick up my appointment paper at the hospital and she told me to just bring my Macau ID to get my appointment paper for my radiation therapy.

The past week i have been busy with long lost friends' visits. I had friends from Australia then now from Geneva Switzerland. Thanks to facebook we were able to get in touch after a long time of separation. Our worlds have been reconnected. We have had shared moments together now enough to keep our friendship alive. We will continue to be facebook friends in the meantime until we meet up personally again.

I still feel soreness of my feet and at times some sort of numbness, sometimes tingling pains or twitching eyelids and painful muscles but i could say there is improvement everyday. My big toenails turned black but slowly growing back normal. My hair is growing back but I will need to measure the speed of my hair growth so i can predict when i could stop covering my head! Hopefully by july i could be ready so i can start my planned travels!! Can't wait to visit all my family and friends in the Philippines and all over the world!

Today i tried so hard to do things using positive thinking ( maybe it could just be in my mind ) but to no avail. I still felt the pains on my hands and legs. It's getting to be frustrating already and the thought that it can be a sign of metastasis even made it worse.

Feeling not good, i went back to research again on the side effects of Taxotere. I ran thru the list only to find out that all these pains are part of the side effects of the chemo and it will go away but it may take months and some even take them a year.

After all these facts, i could only pray that all of these are just part of the side effects only and that my chemo was able to attack my cancer cells. I know in my heart that God uses all my doctors, all the available medicines and all the knowledge and scientific researches done to heal my sickness. My prayer ' Oh my Dear God, please completely take away my pains and make me strong and feel useful again'....

Today is a day of the heart. We must tell all the people that matters to us that we care!

I had to take my son to the doctor because of cough and colds. As usual he is well liked by the doctors. Here in Macau, the doctors do not charge for check up and consultation. I guess they get paid by the government here. All we need to pay for are the medicines.

After the visit to the doctor, my son and i went back to the condo. Gave him his medicines then rested in bed. I wasn't feeling so good also.

My husband came home from work with chocolates and flowers. Such a gesture for valentine!!

Last night we went to Macau tower for dinner and to see the parade and fireworks. It was 7pm when we arrived for dinner then the parade started at 8pm then at 10pm the 22 minutes long fireworks. It was great for me because my 15 year old son was with us.

He now has CTS subject which is photography and video and we went out to help him find scenes he can take pictures of. Also the fireworks he needs to shoot video for his file, maybe for future use. I am just so glad we ( his dad and brother with me ) were able to spend time together.

Yesterday i received message about a batchmate who passed away. I felt sad because i was planning to meet her this april to share and ask details about her case. Again, i was not able to do my plan as with a previous friend also.

Today i received message from a friend who went to the wake. I asked her to interview and know the details. Well my batchmate was a stage 2C diagnosed 2009 and also had chemo, then radiation then oral meds then november 2012 she had leg pains and got worse then her cancer metastasized to her bones then liver, then...

Mine is stage 3a! a notch higher than hers and now i feel very insecure as things really can get worse. I used to be a very optimistic person but as so many trials came my way i started to change. I now have doubts in my mind. I don't know if all that i have doing is enough to buy me more time. I don't know if my pains are only in my imagination or if i need to worry about them. Every little thing i do whether it be the food i am eating or the supplements i am taking, will they be right or enough. So many questions...

I may not be that optimistic anymore but even as my strength is not as it was before, i am still a fighter! Yes i will continue to do whatever i can even in my weakness to fight. With all the support of my family and friends, i will fight! for God is with me!

After a cool week of 20 C, suddenly it got cold again 12 C. I was already about to pack up our winter clothes.

Today is the start of the Chinese New Year (CNY) holidays and it should be a very relaxing week. I still need to recover my strength and this should be a good week of no stressful activities. My feet and hands still feels weak. My nails are growing but they still need to recover especially my two big toes.

My two sons will have a week off from school and i hope we all could spend time together.

Aches and pains please go away forever!!!

Today Macau is misty foggy with temperature of 20 degrees centigrade. I was able to drive and bring my son to school and my husband to work. I am feeling ok but still a little weak.

Yesterday i met with my oncologist who have endorsed me to the radiologist for my radiation therapy. I asked him about my feet and he said its part of the side effects but it will go away. I just really need to be patient.

Patience is such a virtue. I have been learning this virtue a lot. It takes time to heal. It takes time for my hair to grow back. It takes time to learn. It takes time for my strength to grow back.

Lately maybe because i was too excited about finishing my last chemo, i am starting to become uneasy. I shouldn't overwhelm myself. One day at a time. The side effects i thought would end on the third week after my last chemo. My cbc is okay but it takes time, so they say before everything goes back to normal.

Well, i mustn't expect to go back to my state before the surgery as there are permanent difference to my left chest and arm already. Just no more of the side effects would be my goal.

Come to think of it. I have already gone a long way. I have overcome so many and i shouldn't be afraid anymore. God has been showing me His mercy, His kindness and His love for me. I have a Great God!

Yesterday I had my blood test and will see my onco this Monday. My doctor had additional blood tests done to check my cancer cells status or count. I am hoping that the results would be favorable. Hope my chemo treatments were able to attack the cancer cells!

Today, my feet are still sore and my toes numb, though i can say by a lesser degree. These are very minor discomforts to handle considering all that i have been thru. My body has started to recover slowly.

I was able to do haircuts of my two sons. Oh how they had lots of hair! And it made me miss my hair so much! Please grow back fast, my dear hair. I want to use my Flex shampoo and hair conditioner!

We were able to buy chinese costumes for the chinese new year program and celebration at Jacob's school. He looked very handsome in it!

My toes are somewhat a little numb, i have tried to adjust shoes, a little massage but tonight they are still feeling the same. This is new, not happened during my chemo. I hope i could find solution to this problem.

Despite my feet problem i was able to drive and do errands today. I try hard to walk hoping my feet soreness will slowly adjust itself.

Hoping to soon see my happy feet!

I was not able to drive this morning to take my five year old son to school. For two days i was able to drive to take my 15 year old son to school to take his exams for credits on his on line studies. If he passes he will be able to go to grade 11.

Today, my legs feel weak. My toes are somehow feeling numb and my feet are aching. Maybe i have over used them last Sunday, that they are telling me they need to rest or maybe i need foot massage.

I hope i would be able to recover strength of my legs soonest. I have to go back to my normal routines!

Today, after going to Hongkong yesterday, my feet are sore and my back is painful. I guess i have overstretched my weak muscles. Maybe i still need to slowly break in first or train my muscles to exercise again. After almost seven months of being sedentary, i need to start moving around.

I should help myself not to be over excited. I may feel stronger already but deep inside, i still need to be very careful not to harm my body. I need to control my mind not to be overconfident.

I still need to be always careful. Lately i have friends suffering badly from recurrence of their cancer. It's terrible just thinking about how they suffered again. I should not get depressed but its telling me how bad it can get if i am not careful all the time.

Wow, can i do it? Will i be able to fight all the time? Will i be strong enough to win my battle? So many doubts, uncertainties and questions.

I will need the help of my family, friends and most especially my God!!!

It's Friday and the temperature is just cool 17 to 20 degrees centigrade. I have been able to bring to school and fetch my son in all the five days of this week. I am starting to regain my strength! I do not have colds anymore and i am over the critical 3 weeks after my last chemo! Yehey! I think i am on my way to recovery!

These past weekdays, i have been able to drive by myself and I (my mind and body) am doing well. Not much body pains anymore. I am now very excited to see my hair back! Sometimes i tend to stare but my daughter told me not to. The more i look at it, the slower it will grow back. Well, i couldn't help my excitement. I really missed my eyebrow, eyelashes and hair! I will have extensions as soon as it is possible!

Today i have running nose and i keep on sneezing a lot. Macau temperature is between 14 to 17 degrees centigrade only so it is not that cold. I also have some back pains every now and then.

I still look forward to better days ahead and i hope my body immune system stays up all the time. All i have to do is try to protect myself and drink all my vitamins and supplements.

My mouthsore is getting better, my hair should be growing back soon and my nails should grow back to normal colors.
I should regain My strength!!!

Today, my 2nd daughter, my husband and I had lunch together. It was a nice bonding time sharing good food.

Then we fetched my five year old from school. My 2nd daughter was able to get driving permit so she drove for me.

She had been staying over to help me out but she had to fly back to Philippines tonite. I miss my three girls but they need to be in PI.

My eldest will be taking the real estate brokers exam in March, my 2nd will be taking NMAT this april and my 3rd still in college.

I am feeling better now with just few mouth sores. I need to get back my strength so i could start my radiation therapy this February. My WBC shouldn't go much too low anymore. I will be strong!!!

After a hectic day yesterday, i was not able to wake up to take my son to school. I just didn't have enough energy to pull him out of bed, give him a bath and drive him to school. He has been sick with colds and was given medications for three days. He seemed ready to go back but waking him up was a real challenge and i didn't have the energy. Anyway, i decided for both of us to just rest today.

We had extended sleep up to 9am. I just feel weak and just little tingling pains on my arms and legs. I do hope these will be my last episodes. I had fallen to naps twice, in the morning and afternoon. My body was not willing to go out do anything.

Rest was all i did today, trying very hard that little pain in my throat will go away. Drank as much water as i can. Took all my supplements. Things will be better soon...

Because i was able to rest the whole day yesterday, i had the energy the whole day today. Woke up at 8:30am then got ready to fetch my sister and family at the ferry terminal. They came from Hongkong.

We passed by our place to put their bags down then had to rush to the Macau - Zhuhai border immigration to beat the 12:30 nn lunchbreak of the tourguides. Spent four hours shopping for bargains then back to Macau at 5:30pm. Rested for one hour then had 7pm to 7:45 pm dinner at a Thai restaurant beside our condo.

Going to airport by 8pm for their 9:40pm flight to Clark. Such a hectic schedule!!

I really can't imagine after how my visitors survived this day. Hongkong then Macau then Zhuhai then Macau then Philippines!!! It was not a joke and they had such energy and patience!! Congrats. Guys!! 8 of them!!

So many thoughts on my mind now. I am happy that my chemo are all done with and i am now trying to pass away time so i could recover my strength back. It should be that simple but other emotions keep getting into me.

Uncertainty, i am not yet 100% sure that my chemo had been able to get all cancer cells in my body. I have yet to undergo another treatment scheme to try to eradicate all remaining cancer cells ( goodbye cancer cells forever please!!! )

I know i need to undergo all of these just so i could increase my chances. We are all doing everything possible and just need to hope and pray that everything works out fine.

Today, i am feeling a little sad because the possibility of recurrence is almost certain. Almost all people i know have had recurrences and that is when it gets worst.

I have to work really really hard to be able to fight off the cancer cells. Everything that i should be doing from now on, will be to fight it out.

I know i will need all prayers, all support all the love and understanding of all my family and friends and most especially God my Saviour!!!

Today i still feel somewhat weak but inspired since i will be having visitors arriving tonite! When you have been down and out for six months it does help a lot to be inspired to be up and about!

One of the realizations of being sick is visitors helps a lot to boost your moods! You learn to appreciate all the people that come to see you and hope you well. I know i have not been the most thoughtful person ever but now one of my resolutions would be to be the more caring and thoughtful person i can be.

Thank God for technology as it gives me more ways to get in touch with my loved ones! Texts, FB, viber, skype, God is truly great for giving us these numerous ways and means! Now i can always express myself to my family and friends!!!

Still feeling bloated, heartburn but eating well. Seems like the metallic taste buds are starting to act up again! Anyway just one last bout of all of these and i will be officially over it. Counting the days and excited to already start moving on. Lot's of things to look forward to. My hair should be growing back soon, missing it a lot already!

I am feeling just fine. Took meds to make me sleep last night. Eating well though feeling bloated and constipated. Tried to eat lots of fiber and fruits. Drank all my supplements.

I still could not believe i have been able to finish all my chemotherapy! I couldn't celebrate just yet as i have to still overcome the downswing this coming weeks. Have to be careful not to let my WBC go very low again. Need to protect myself from infections and colds. I can do it, God will protect me as always...

It seems like it was just yesterday that i was so anxious about starting my treatments. I was so afraid and dreaded the days ahead. Wow! Now i can't believe that i have done it. Maybe it should be we have done it! I could not have overcome all the difficulties without all the help and prayers and moral support from my family and friends.

All i need to do now is to make sure i don't get exposed to bad elements these coming three weeks when my wbc goes down and my immune system is down. That would be easier now as i know already how bad it can get if i don't do what i must. My supplements are complete. My mood is up. I am looking forward to my incoming visitors! I am happy when i have visitors showing their love and concern. One of the perks of getting sick, hehe.

God has been taking care of me. He has given me everything i needed. Good and caring doctors, supportive husband and children ( yes even my son is healed by God ), very loving friends who prays a lot for me, family who will never give up on me, all my FB friends who will always be there praying for me, i really couldn't ask for anything more.

God loves me even during times i questioned and doubted His plans for me. Even in all my imperfections, he help me by the hand throughout my chemo journey. God is truly good!

Next will be five weeks of radiation therapy! That will be easier!

I was able to drive and take my son to his first day of school for 2013, then i had my blood test. I have taken my first of six dose of dexamethasone. My 2nd daughter was with me. It pays to have many children when you get sick, they can easily take shifts.

Wow, it seems like just yesterday when i had my first chemo, now i will be having my 8th and last chemo tomorrow! Yesterday my son was already cheering when i answered him it will be my last! I really can not grasp how everything went by so fast! It is only by God's grace that i am able to endure everything. Prayers, lots of prayers helped me a lot!

Thank you all!!!

I am feeling good today, no cough, no major pains.

My husband and i were able to do some errands then went to mass with our 2nd daughter and five year old son. After the mass we went to the grocery to buy dinner. We had salad and ham. My son now tries to eat also healthy food with us too and it is such a great deal considering he used to be very very choosy.

Today we were able to have our condo blessed by a priest. He was fetched at 930 am and he did the blessing of our place with Holy Water. In his blessing, he read the Gospel for today which was Zaccheus welcoming Jesus into his home and related the blessing as also an act of welcoming Jesus into our home.

After the blessing ceremony, we shared simple breakfast meal together with our priest. It felt good to share stories while having meal together.

My five year old son enjoyed talking to our priest, telling him about his angry birds game and star wars that when it was time to leave, he cried and didn't want him to leave.

My two girls, eldest and third daughter has to fly back to manila. It was time for them to go back for school ( college for my 3rd ) and my eldest review class for real estate brokers licensure exams aside from managing our businesses.

I have been feeling well. I am on the week before my last chemo. I supposed my immune system is up since it is the third week already since my 7th chemo. I am almost done!

These four days have been fun times for our family with Miko and his parents. We had meals together in all the best restaurants and eating places in Macau. Shopping for bargains and sale had been added fun also.

Walking or eating while chatting in the cold weather was enjoyable as well! Sharing happy moments together while planning for the wedding! It was just perfect, couldn't ask for anything more!

Day before New Year, we just prepared food and stayed home since I can not join the crowd at the Fireworks area. We just had our champagne soda toast at our balcony and watched the fireworks from afar.

It was just our family but we are complete and it makes all the difference.

New year day was much more complete because my eldest daughter's fiance and parents arrived from Philippines via cebu pacific evening flight. As my daughter Judith said we have an extended family now!

I have been feeling better with my cough and colds almost gone.

(Dec. 26)
We had to leave for Hongkong and check in a hotel at Tsim tsa tsui area. We have a 9am appointment the next day at the US embassy in Hongkong for our family visa renewal and our 5 year old new visa application.

(Dec. 27)
We were able to reach the embassy on time and was able to completely submit all papers for the interview. The consul didn't ask for anything even though we brought tons of supporting papers. She just asked our five year old son who his mom and dad are, of course he pointed to us.

We were expecting and ready to stay five days in Hongkong and wait for our passports back but the consul was so kind enough and told us she will issue back our passports with visa the next day! It was sort of 'express', such a nice lady consul! After the embassy, we went to Kowloon Tong station for ice skating of our two girls and two sons at the Festival mall.

(Dec. 28)
My girls and my five year old went to Disneyland while i, my husband and my son stayed in the hotel. I somehow needed to rest. Started to drink Pei pak kao and it helped tame my cough! In the afternoon my husband went back to the US embassy to pick up our passports with US visas. My 15 year old son and i went to Uniqlo beside our hotel for his much needed garments. He has grown so fast!

(Dec. 29)
The next day we were supposed to go to ocean park but it was raining so we decided to just go instead to Festival Mall for shopping and ice skating for my sons and daughter.

(Dec. 30)
We had to check out the hotel and just left our baggage in the hotel then proceeded to ocean park. My girls and 15 yr old son went to the rides together while my husband and i went to rides with our five year old son. By 7 pm we were ready to ride bus back to admiralty station where we had dinner at the Genki Sushi at the station. After that we took the MTR back to our hotel then walked to the ferry terminal for the last trip back to Macau. US visa renewal - Mission accomplished and our family had such great bonding and happy times together!!!

Was still having bad colds the whole day but i feel that the injections somehow helped my body recover. Also i have taken my supplements.

We transfered to another unit in another block. As per the feng shui master 28 was better for us, better view, bigger rooms and toilets.

This time everything was fixed and transfered by my family. They did almost everything and they didn't let me get stressed!

My doctor gave me instructions to have daily injections to help my white blood count from going very low again for four days from December 21 to 24. The medicines were issued to me by the hospital pharmacy then i just needed to bring them to the health center with instructions by my onco for them to inject on my right arm. I just needed to walk a block from our place every morning to the center. It was such a breeze...

I was feeling my body becoming weak again, colds and sore throat already starting. The injections and my supplements and vitamins and lots of water somehow kept me afloat.

My family being complete made things easier for me to think positive. It somehow
gave me extra boost! I was able to get thru the lows again!