Yesterday i went to the Kiang Wu hospital to give my papers and meet with the doctor. I have a chinese lady doctor and she explained to me and my husband about the radiation therapy treatment for me, i will be having 5 days ( mon to fri ) a week for 5 weeks. Each treatment will last about only 15 mins. They will need to do CTScan on me prior to start of radiation to make a treatment plan. I was asked to go back this morning and they made my body mould, also put some markers on my breast skin which i should not erase until after all the treatments are done. My lady doctor was there to see to it that the markers are correct. I will be having permanent position during treatments with my hands up above my head.

My husband just dropped me off the hospital. After my mould was done i can leave and just go back for my CTScan at 3 pm. On my way out to look for a ride back home i found out that the 7a bus stop is just at the exit of the hospital. That 7a bus terminal is just at the back of our condo and it will be such a blessing as i will not need to bring and drive and park ( always full carparking ) a car for my treatments, i can easily ride the bus home. Another blessing, less stress for me!

Today i woke up my hands feeling tired. Feeling pains every now and then on my left hand and my right big toe. It is like needles pinching. Also my right shoulder seems like it worked hard that it's tired. I miss those days i wake up with so much energy and no pains. Soon..soon..

Good news, i looked closely at my eyebrows and there are already tiny hairs growing back! My head is now slowly being covered with tiny hairs too!

Tomorrow i will be going to the radiologist for my radiation therapy. I hope to start it right away so i can finish by april. I do hope this treatment will be much gentler to my body, no more side effects please!!!

Yesterday and today i was able to just rest. My feet had a much needed break. I just hope my pains would start to lessen more and more. I still feel tingling pains at times.

I miss my body and muscles strength. I hope when my pains are fully gone i could start training my muscles to recover their strength. It won't be easy and i need so much patience. After all that i have been thru i guess i am more patient now than i was before my surgery. Things are not within my control anymore. It is God in control...

It was a very busy day today. I had to drive my sons to school because my husband had to leave early for Hongkong. After taking breakfast i brought my visitor friend to a garment shop for bargains. She and I were able to get very good priced nice items.

Then i had to fetch my sons from school after that had to go to the hospital to get my papers for my radiation therapy. Again the persons i have dealt with were very helpful. I think they know my case and are giving me extra kindness for it.

After the hospital my visitor together with my youngest son went to fetch my husband. We had a good dinner before we brought our friend to the airport. It had been so nice to share moments with long lost friends! So many stories and sharings to tell.

All these while my legs and feet are feeling tired and painful but was able to fight it off. I had to do what i got to do! I was still able to do everything out of sheer determination. I just hope these pains will go away soon!!

Cool day with a little sunshine in Macau. Yesterday i received a call but the one calling doesn't speak english. It should be the hospital calling to tell me about my appointment with the radiologist. In my mind an english speaking person should call me back and they did! So i will need to pick up my appointment paper at the hospital and she told me to just bring my Macau ID to get my appointment paper for my radiation therapy.

The past week i have been busy with long lost friends' visits. I had friends from Australia then now from Geneva Switzerland. Thanks to facebook we were able to get in touch after a long time of separation. Our worlds have been reconnected. We have had shared moments together now enough to keep our friendship alive. We will continue to be facebook friends in the meantime until we meet up personally again.

I still feel soreness of my feet and at times some sort of numbness, sometimes tingling pains or twitching eyelids and painful muscles but i could say there is improvement everyday. My big toenails turned black but slowly growing back normal. My hair is growing back but I will need to measure the speed of my hair growth so i can predict when i could stop covering my head! Hopefully by july i could be ready so i can start my planned travels!! Can't wait to visit all my family and friends in the Philippines and all over the world!

Today i tried so hard to do things using positive thinking ( maybe it could just be in my mind ) but to no avail. I still felt the pains on my hands and legs. It's getting to be frustrating already and the thought that it can be a sign of metastasis even made it worse.

Feeling not good, i went back to research again on the side effects of Taxotere. I ran thru the list only to find out that all these pains are part of the side effects of the chemo and it will go away but it may take months and some even take them a year.

After all these facts, i could only pray that all of these are just part of the side effects only and that my chemo was able to attack my cancer cells. I know in my heart that God uses all my doctors, all the available medicines and all the knowledge and scientific researches done to heal my sickness. My prayer ' Oh my Dear God, please completely take away my pains and make me strong and feel useful again'....

Today is a day of the heart. We must tell all the people that matters to us that we care!

I had to take my son to the doctor because of cough and colds. As usual he is well liked by the doctors. Here in Macau, the doctors do not charge for check up and consultation. I guess they get paid by the government here. All we need to pay for are the medicines.

After the visit to the doctor, my son and i went back to the condo. Gave him his medicines then rested in bed. I wasn't feeling so good also.

My husband came home from work with chocolates and flowers. Such a gesture for valentine!!