After three months since my last chemo therapy, my fingernails are halfway normal already! So in another three months they will be completely back to normal! It takes six months to completely have new fingernails. Except for my left middle finger which still has a gray line (previously black).

As for my toenails, my big toes has just started to have normal growth and it is taking more time for them to grow. Usually the toenails are really halfway slower. I cut my toenails every other time that i cut my fingernails. Soooo it will be taking double the fingernails. I think my bigtoe nails will be normal in 8 months time. In the meantime i should just try to cover them as much as i can or just put nail polish. I wonder if the dying nail will be damaged if i put nail polish on them. Maybe i will try to research first...

It has been a while since my last post. I had been getting better everyday though i had to go thru so many ups and downs. After the 25th radiation therapy finished, i started to hope that all my pains will just vanish immediately. I was so wrong as the side effects would just start to manifest. My skin turned from a little red to very dark red then black. It is like sunburn many times over. Some of the black skin started to pell off but the underskin is too sensitive. I could not put on lotion as my doctor told me to just let it naturally, she gave me medicine in case i couldn't bear the soreness.

My patience had been stretched to the limits again. Sometimes it was hard to catch sleep feeling the little pains and soreness but i had been able to get by. Just as always focusing on better days ahead as it couldn't get any worse than what i have been able to go thru this journey.

There were moments the painkillers helped a lot but i limit by just taking paracetamol. I shouldn't be too dependent on them.

Last week, i had an excision biopsy to check on a lump below my ribs. When the surgeon opened it he immediately told me good news, that it is just a cebaceous cysts. After the biopsy the surgeon was just so glad and relieved it wasn't anything bad at all.

Yesterday my doctor friend visited me. They have their group tour in hongkong and she took the ferry to macau while her group went to disneyland. With my two daughters and my husband, we were able to have good meals and do some shopping. Again it was such a nice feeling being with friends, sharing life changing stories. She has been my highschool classmate and so many things has happened from since then.

I had the stitches removed last monday but the nurse told me the sliced skin has not closed yet so they still needed to put some sort of a tape with thread over the cut to join the skin together. So it means i could not start just yet my exercises. Another two weeks... maybe...

After having fever last night and feeling so much body aches, today i am feeling better. I decided to just take paracetamol instead of going to the hospital. Was waking up every four hours with slight fever and took paracetamol and it worked.

With all my not so good feelings lately i do learn to appreciate every good moments i have. Looking forward to more better days to come...

Had my last (25th) radiation therapy today. Was supposed to be a good milestone but had to ask my radiation oncologist about my left arm which pain had been bothering me and she told me it can be caused by bone metastasis. Had it xrayed and told me she will be getting results by friday and will be calling me by then.

Lately i had been feeling weaker and the pain sometimes shoots up that i need to drink painkillers. I had been telling myself it was just side effects but it doesn't really go away.

Last monday during my meeting with my oncologist i told him about the pain and he gave me instructions to have blood tests this friday then meet with him again on monday.

I am now trying to get info about bone metastasis and checked on the symptoms and i think i am getting all the signs.

With the on and off pains i am feeling now, i think i am being prepared to look and reconsider everything again.