Date
Breast Cancer Ribbon

Archive for February 2013

Foggy Thursday

posted by:
Unknown

Yesterday i went to the Kiang Wu hospital to give my papers and meet with the doctor. I have a chinese lady doctor and she explained to me and my husband about the radiation therapy treatment for me, i will be having 5 days ( mon to fri ) a week for 5 weeks. Each treatment will last about only 15 mins. They will need to do CTScan on me prior to start of radiation to make a treatment plan. I was asked to go back this morning and they made my body mould, also put some markers on my breast skin which i should not erase until after all the treatments are done. My lady doctor was there to see to it that the markers are correct. I will be having permanent position during treatments with my hands up above my head.

My husband just dropped me off the hospital. After my mould was done i can leave and just go back for my CTScan at 3 pm. On my way out to look for a ride back home i found out that the 7a bus stop is just at the exit of the hospital. That 7a bus terminal is just at the back of our condo and it will be such a blessing as i will not need to bring and drive and park ( always full carparking ) a car for my treatments, i can easily ride the bus home. Another blessing, less stress for me!

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A Tuesday

posted by:
Unknown

Today i woke up my hands feeling tired. Feeling pains every now and then on my left hand and my right big toe. It is like needles pinching. Also my right shoulder seems like it worked hard that it's tired. I miss those days i wake up with so much energy and no pains. Soon..soon..

Good news, i looked closely at my eyebrows and there are already tiny hairs growing back! My head is now slowly being covered with tiny hairs too!

Tomorrow i will be going to the radiologist for my radiation therapy. I hope to start it right away so i can finish by april. I do hope this treatment will be much gentler to my body, no more side effects please!!!

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Good Sunday

posted by:
Unknown

Yesterday and today i was able to just rest. My feet had a much needed break. I just hope my pains would start to lessen more and more. I still feel tingling pains at times.

I miss my body and muscles strength. I hope when my pains are fully gone i could start training my muscles to recover their strength. It won't be easy and i need so much patience. After all that i have been thru i guess i am more patient now than i was before my surgery. Things are not within my control anymore. It is God in control...






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Thank God it's Friday

posted by:
Unknown

It was a very busy day today. I had to drive my sons to school because my husband had to leave early for Hongkong. After taking breakfast i brought my visitor friend to a garment shop for bargains. She and I were able to get very good priced nice items.

Then i had to fetch my sons from school after that had to go to the hospital to get my papers for my radiation therapy. Again the persons i have dealt with were very helpful. I think they know my case and are giving me extra kindness for it.

After the hospital my visitor together with my youngest son went to fetch my husband. We had a good dinner before we brought our friend to the airport. It had been so nice to share moments with long lost friends! So many stories and sharings to tell.

All these while my legs and feet are feeling tired and painful but was able to fight it off. I had to do what i got to do! I was still able to do everything out of sheer determination. I just hope these pains will go away soon!!



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A Thursday

posted by:
Unknown

Cool day with a little sunshine in Macau. Yesterday i received a call but the one calling doesn't speak english. It should be the hospital calling to tell me about my appointment with the radiologist. In my mind an english speaking person should call me back and they did! So i will need to pick up my appointment paper at the hospital and she told me to just bring my Macau ID to get my appointment paper for my radiation therapy.

The past week i have been busy with long lost friends' visits. I had friends from Australia then now from Geneva Switzerland. Thanks to facebook we were able to get in touch after a long time of separation. Our worlds have been reconnected. We have had shared moments together now enough to keep our friendship alive. We will continue to be facebook friends in the meantime until we meet up personally again.

I still feel soreness of my feet and at times some sort of numbness, sometimes tingling pains or twitching eyelids and painful muscles but i could say there is improvement everyday. My big toenails turned black but slowly growing back normal. My hair is growing back but I will need to measure the speed of my hair growth so i can predict when i could stop covering my head! Hopefully by july i could be ready so i can start my planned travels!! Can't wait to visit all my family and friends in the Philippines and all over the world!

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Friday

posted by:
Unknown

Today i tried so hard to do things using positive thinking ( maybe it could just be in my mind ) but to no avail. I still felt the pains on my hands and legs. It's getting to be frustrating already and the thought that it can be a sign of metastasis even made it worse.

Feeling not good, i went back to research again on the side effects of Taxotere. I ran thru the list only to find out that all these pains are part of the side effects of the chemo and it will go away but it may take months and some even take them a year.

After all these facts, i could only pray that all of these are just part of the side effects only and that my chemo was able to attack my cancer cells. I know in my heart that God uses all my doctors, all the available medicines and all the knowledge and scientific researches done to heal my sickness. My prayer ' Oh my Dear God, please completely take away my pains and make me strong and feel useful again'....

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Valentines Day <3 !!!

posted by:
Unknown

Today is a day of the heart. We must tell all the people that matters to us that we care!

I had to take my son to the doctor because of cough and colds. As usual he is well liked by the doctors. Here in Macau, the doctors do not charge for check up and consultation. I guess they get paid by the government here. All we need to pay for are the medicines.

After the visit to the doctor, my son and i went back to the condo. Gave him his medicines then rested in bed. I wasn't feeling so good also.

My husband came home from work with chocolates and flowers. Such a gesture for valentine!!

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Chinese New Year

posted by:
Unknown

Last night we went to Macau tower for dinner and to see the parade and fireworks. It was 7pm when we arrived for dinner then the parade started at 8pm then at 10pm the 22 minutes long fireworks. It was great for me because my 15 year old son was with us.

He now has CTS subject which is photography and video and we went out to help him find scenes he can take pictures of. Also the fireworks he needs to shoot video for his file, maybe for future use. I am just so glad we ( his dad and brother with me ) were able to spend time together.

Yesterday i received message about a batchmate who passed away. I felt sad because i was planning to meet her this april to share and ask details about her case. Again, i was not able to do my plan as with a previous friend also.

Today i received message from a friend who went to the wake. I asked her to interview and know the details. Well my batchmate was a stage 2C diagnosed 2009 and also had chemo, then radiation then oral meds then november 2012 she had leg pains and got worse then her cancer metastasized to her bones then liver, then...

Mine is stage 3a! a notch higher than hers and now i feel very insecure as things really can get worse. I used to be a very optimistic person but as so many trials came my way i started to change. I now have doubts in my mind. I don't know if all that i have doing is enough to buy me more time. I don't know if my pains are only in my imagination or if i need to worry about them. Every little thing i do whether it be the food i am eating or the supplements i am taking, will they be right or enough. So many questions...

I may not be that optimistic anymore but even as my strength is not as it was before, i am still a fighter! Yes i will continue to do whatever i can even in my weakness to fight. With all the support of my family and friends, i will fight! for God is with me!

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Cold Saturday..

posted by:
Unknown

After a cool week of 20 C, suddenly it got cold again 12 C. I was already about to pack up our winter clothes.

Today is the start of the Chinese New Year (CNY) holidays and it should be a very relaxing week. I still need to recover my strength and this should be a good week of no stressful activities. My feet and hands still feels weak. My nails are growing but they still need to recover especially my two big toes.

My two sons will have a week off from school and i hope we all could spend time together.

Aches and pains please go away forever!!!

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Foggy Tuesday

posted by:
Unknown

Today Macau is misty foggy with temperature of 20 degrees centigrade. I was able to drive and bring my son to school and my husband to work. I am feeling ok but still a little weak.

Yesterday i met with my oncologist who have endorsed me to the radiologist for my radiation therapy. I asked him about my feet and he said its part of the side effects but it will go away. I just really need to be patient.

Patience is such a virtue. I have been learning this virtue a lot. It takes time to heal. It takes time for my hair to grow back. It takes time to learn. It takes time for my strength to grow back.

Lately maybe because i was too excited about finishing my last chemo, i am starting to become uneasy. I shouldn't overwhelm myself. One day at a time. The side effects i thought would end on the third week after my last chemo. My cbc is okay but it takes time, so they say before everything goes back to normal.

Well, i mustn't expect to go back to my state before the surgery as there are permanent difference to my left chest and arm already. Just no more of the side effects would be my goal.

Come to think of it. I have already gone a long way. I have overcome so many and i shouldn't be afraid anymore. God has been showing me His mercy, His kindness and His love for me. I have a Great God!


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Saturday..

posted by:
Unknown

Yesterday I had my blood test and will see my onco this Monday. My doctor had additional blood tests done to check my cancer cells status or count. I am hoping that the results would be favorable. Hope my chemo treatments were able to attack the cancer cells!

Today, my feet are still sore and my toes numb, though i can say by a lesser degree. These are very minor discomforts to handle considering all that i have been thru. My body has started to recover slowly.

I was able to do haircuts of my two sons. Oh how they had lots of hair! And it made me miss my hair so much! Please grow back fast, my dear hair. I want to use my Flex shampoo and hair conditioner!

We were able to buy chinese costumes for the chinese new year program and celebration at Jacob's school. He looked very handsome in it!

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